Friday, September 25, 2009


Ternyata habit baru yang lagi gw jalani belom sepenuhnya vegetarian. Based on Wikipedia, I am a Pescetarian...

also called pesco-vegetarianism

karena gw masih makan seafood dan produk-produk yang dihasilkan oleh hewan seperti telur, susu, keju, madu.

Jadi salah...jadi pescetarian aja udah susah gini, ternyata jadi vegetarian lebih susah lagi.

Makan sayur, kacang-kacangan, umbi dan makan buah terus tiap hari. Terakhir kali, gw makan buah seharian dan malah diare. Terus gw kan ngga boleh nelen sari pati ayam ato sapi ato apalah, jadi makanan gw gak boleh ada masako-nya. Dan setiap ngeliat pop mie, gw selalu ngingetin diri sendiri kalo ITU DILARANG, NGGA BOLEH, hehehe...

Untuk bikin gw tetep di jalur pescetarian, sejak liburan lebaran kemarin gw belajar masak di rumah. Bikin nasi goreng kuning, bikin bolu, bikin bubur sumsum, bikin indomie ngga pake bumbu indomie yang hasilnya caur gila, bikin bola-bola coklat. Sementara kalo bikin telur dadar dan ceplok sih...hah...gampang!!

Nyokab gw bilang, kalo gue bisa masak sendiri, makanan gw justru lebih sehat. Dan karena pescetarian ngga se-strict vegetarian / vegan, nyokab bokap gw masih mendukung upaya disiplin ini.

Kalo gw vegetarian, mereka justru kawatir nasib gw bakal kayak om gw yang pernah niat jadi vegan dan masuk rumah sakit, hahahhaa... Kalo gw bilang sih, itu gara-gara dia kurang strategi aja. Kan ada banyak menu vegetarian, tergantung kita kreatif ato ngga. Cuman berhubung gw belom terlalu jago masak dan bumbu-bumbu yang tersedia di pasaran masih banyak yang dibuat dari saripati ayam, sapi, udang atau ikan, jadi gw pescetarian dulu aja.

Someday kalo gw udah punya uang banyak, gw bakal fokus jadi vegetarian dan sanggup biayain diri sendiri untuk sering makan di Te-He (restoran vegetarian mahal gila) ato bikin variasi makanan vegetarian dengan bumbu-bumbu asli dari tumbuhan (tanpa campuran makhluk hidup di dalamnya) yang sekarang masih susah didapet di supermarket.

Now while I'm a pescetarian, I still definitely have to learn how to be a vegetarian without getting ill, starve, menderita malnutrisi, menderita bosan, dll.


From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

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Pescetarianism, also called pesco-vegetarianism, is the practice of a diet that includes seafood and excludes mammals and birds. In addition to fish or shellfish, a pescetarian diet typically includes some or all of vegetables, fruit, nuts, grains, beans, eggs, and dairy. The Merriam-Webster dictionary dates the origin of the term "pescetarian" to 1993 and defines it to mean: "one whose diet includes fish but no meat."[1]


U can more or less understand people character from their choice of music. I’ve found these typical…

This is the sound from those who never take things easy. They think, feel, and see everything with deeper, wider and further sense beyond ordinary. Every of their creation leaves us wondering wow. They are the people we might call genius, gifted, talented…

This is the sound from those who appreciate rules, who lives passionately, who are kind, snob in taste, respect discipline and totally embrace their melodious life.

This is the sound from those who live as lightly as they could…those who we should envy most, those happy-go-lucky people with their have-fun-go-mad spirit mode on. They don’t care if the world calls them common, average, shallow, and maybe…stupid…but hell, just hear their sound, this people know how to get fun.

This is the sound from those who realize they got HUGE talent in music, who think they have to stand out. These people will aggressively climb for popularity and yeah…don’t get on their cocky way, or their sharp words will kick your sorry little ass out of the way.

This is the sound from those who feel themselves unheard and misunderstood, those who have so many rage and disappointment inside. Once they let it out, they let it out loud for the world to hear, to see, that they are surviving.

This is the sound from those who take a really long time to understand and to accept people and circumstances around them. They don’t care if people understand them or not. These people have already fulfilled with themselves, occupied with their own amusing minds, character and personality.

And this is the sound from those who need more education…a lot more of education. Seriously…

Monday, September 7, 2009

Becoming Vegetarian

It has been two weeks and I'm still surviving. Amazingly, this second time around being a vegan feel much more easier than my first time. Last time I was a vegan, I could only hold the discipline for 2 months. :D Now I expect to do this longer and maybe hopefully for the rest of my life.

There's no significant reason why I choose this kind of discipline. I just feel like it. Although deep down, I really wish I could do more like stop smoking, but I guess at least I have to start a discipline from an easier step: don't eat meat. I hope someday, my mind will finally straighten enough and it will call the initiative to stop smoking. So when that time come, I can write this sentence: "I don't know why I choose to stop smoking. I just feel like it." :D

When I write this, I actually am thinking of my cavendish banana in the refrigerator downstairs. I really want to eat it but my stomach is full enough by tempe bacem, hahahhaa...Tantri and Lala hold the effort to make those for "Buka Puasa Bareng" this evening. They're so kind, and I guess they have ready enough to go to the next step becoming a wife and a mom. While I...well I still need to be taken care of somebody. :D

I have great happiness this evening. Maybe this is the reason why I could come up with normal diary-style-writing for this blog right now, not blue poetry like I used to make in my ordinary days. :D

Thursday, July 30, 2009

10 minutes meditation

A relationship doesn't need much thought
It doesn't require emotion
But it lives when there are hearts in it
Now I won't ask if you have the gut to have one
cause you certainly has...
...but do you have the heart, Resti?

Saturday, May 30, 2009

I want to make a new mainstream

Sometime I heard people ask, “is it mainstream?”, when they’ve told about new song coming up, a new book coming up or new film coming up, as if it is a sin to hear, read or watch one from such kind.

Sometime I see people brag about them being indies. Proudly acknowledge that they shown only their pieces just to some people who “understand” / “accept” it.

They seem to reject the effort to make their work known by mass audience.

How pity.

Have they given up, since they’ve already tried?
Or do they underestimate commoners, by thinking these people won’t understand their work?

I do believe, become a unique is good. But become uniquely-known is better. Don’t you think?

When we are confidence with our talent, why should we keep it to ourselves or to our group? While most of our works are excellent, why don’t we do something about it? Why should we reject popularity?

I don’t understand.

Me myself, I want to make a new mainstream.

And why not, when I think I have the talent and the gut. And I don’t think this dream as a form of my pride.

True pride I think, hides inside those who keeps their talent to themselves. How it would be such a waste while a lot of people might get inspired or have the chance to grow by knowing such talent is exist.

I pitty this people who despise mainstream, while they are having the chance to make a new mainstream.

Why don’t they?

And while they buried their talent to themselves, I’ll share mine to the world.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I have ready

to live…

not by just waking up to wake up someday,
and expecting myself not to be empty...

But to live of no longer irony...

The soul I’ve thought has broken,
has been toughen up.

I see people come and go,
yet, reality never gives me nobody.

Many somebody appear to be found
in every corner of life, in every second I spend.

I am no longer scared.
My heart would just have to recognize them.

And despite the severity,
I am reminding myself everyday,
That my life is not measured by who I have,
but from the effort I give to everyone I’ve now had.

So let the sincerity from the smile comes out.
Every year.
Every week.
Every day.
Every minute.
Every second.
Above everything.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Not The Best I’ve Ever Had

This is the punishment for being such an unprofessional cunt!

I can’t believe I’m the fool again, after all those nightmares happened 5 years ago. Sometimes I guess, I have to upgrade the level of my ignorance more. So I won’t have to deal with messed up emotion on tiny useless matter ANYMORE!

God! Perhaps I have never known love. But I can tell where’s the limit of somebody’s love/ care/ attention to me, from the reason they get angry at me. And now, because of too much involvement in other’s insignificant life, I always have to remind myself of where I stand in their life.


Trust me, from now on, I am going to be very professional, or let’s say, just decided to be an ignorant bloody bastard alive.

An easy going, funny, ignorant bloody bastard alive. There.

Friday, March 20, 2009


Kenapa orang bisa punya alasan untuk benci dan nyakitin orang lain?

Tukang poles yang dulu, punya banyak alasan untuk mikir jelek soal orang lain, untuk sakit hati dan untuk bales mereka. Tukang poles yang dulu, ngga nyadar kalau semua itu cuma parno yang ada di kepala. Dan kalo inget dulu sering benci, nyakitin orang lain (sekarang juga masih sih, dalam kadar kuantitas dan kualitas jauh lebih sedikit), masih suka nyesel sampe susah tidur.

Sekarang kalo dipikir-pikir, saat tukang poles nyakitin orang lain, ternyata cuma gara-gara takut lebih dulu disakiti. Tukang poles was simply scared of rejection. Tukang poles was scared of humiliation.

Kebencian itu ngga penting!

That's why, harus disingkirin jauh-jauh. Ditumpas. Diinjek-injek. Terus dilupain. Ngga susah kok! And um pastinya ngga perlu jauh-jauh belajar Tantrayana ke Dalai Lama yang ada di Tibet untuk bisa ngontrol emosi ke orang lain.

Rumusnya, inget-inget ini aja:

Mendem perasaan benci itu ga enak dan bisa ngerusak diri sendiri. Benci bisa numbuhin stres, penilaian tentang hal yang dibenci jadi ngga obyektif, hati ngga tenang, mimik muka jadi ngga enak diliat (orang yang memendam benci punya ekspresi muka ngga enak - otomatis orang lain jadi ogah deket-deket) dan plus plus... penyakit nyebelin di kepala (khusus di kasus tukang poles). Sumpa yang kayak gini paling bikin males!

Sekitar 5 tahun lalu tukang poles belajar yang namanya “acceptance”. Acceptance yang ngga berarti pasrah ini bikin tukang-poles jadi susah untuk mikir jelek, ngerasa benci / marah / ngerencanain hal jahat ke orang lain.

I would like you to have a bite of acceptance.

(Ada yang mau? Ada yang mau dijejelin?? Hehe…)

Dari praktek lapangan yang udah tukang poles jalanin, kira-kira kayak gini deh langkah-langkah untuk bisa hidup full acceptance:

1st bite of acceptance.
Sebentuk senyum ato cengiran ternyata efektif buat nge-boost mood paling jelek sekalipun buat kita dan buat orang lain. Jadi pastiin kita senyum yang tulus setiap kali bertatap muka sama orang lain, ato kalo perlu nyengir sekalian. Selebar-lebarnya.

Eye Contact
2nd bite of acceptance.
Dengan senyum mengembang di mulut, hal kedua yang perlu dilakukan adalah melakukan kontak mata. Berani menatap orang yang kita temui atau orang yang sedang bicara dengan kita, berarti kita siap untuk jujur sama dia. Lagian, lewat mata kita jadi tahu apa yang lagi dia rasain atau pikirin saat itu. Kita bisa dapet pemahaman lebih tentang dia.

3rd bite of acceptance.
Demi kebaikan, walaupun kita punya focus disorientation syndrome, kita harus bisa dengerin orang lain sepenuhnya saat mereka bicara sama kita. Untungnya dengerin orang lain waktu ngomong banyak kok. Selain buat ngurangin “telmi”, “mendengarkan” bisa bikin orang yang berbicara dengan kita merasa diterima. Relasi kitapun jadi kerasa lebih dekat dan kita bisa lebih enjoy ada bareng mereka.

Selanjutnya? Sudah pasti mulus jalannya... hehehe...

Teori acceptance udah tukang poles buktiin selama bertahun-tahun. Ampuh! This makes everything easy and light.

But sometimes, hatred could be very sneaky. Kalo ngga hati-hati kita bisa terjangkit!

Selalu akan adaaa aja orang-orang / hal-hal yang kayaknya hadir di dunia cuma buat ngetes bates kesabaran kita. Salah satunya adalah orang-orang yang, misalnya:

* Orang yang mikir kalo ngomong sama orang bodoh itu harus dengan nada keras biar cepet ngerti.
* Orang yang mikir bahwa orang pinter itu harus pendiem dan keliatan ”mikir”.
* Orang yang susah banget buat bilang, ”Iya ngga papa, elo gue maafin”, yang hobinya memperpanjang masalah.
* Dll.

Orang yang berbeda visi dan berbeda pola pikir kayak gini (entah sama tukang poles atau sama kamu), percaya deh NGGAK BAKAL PERNAH bisa ada di satu tempat yang sama dengan kita.

Sedangkan untuk bisa getting along dengan orang-orang macem ini tanpa kita sendiri terjebak dalam kebencian, ”mengalah” maupun ”kompromi” bukan solusi yang pengen tukang poles rekomendasiin di sini, di sono, di manapun atau sampe kapanpun.

Sejauh ini, cara paling efektif untuk bisa rukun sama mereka ya dengan mengisolasi diri, memutuskan keterikatan emosional dengan mereka. Cara kongkritnya adalah bicara seperlunya, ketemu seperlunya.

Soalnya, menjalin hubungan berkualitas itu justru harus dengan orang-orang yang terbuka menerima pemikiran kita / dengan orang-orang yang punya pemikiran sama dengan kita. Bareng-bareng mereka, baru deh kita bisa ngembangin diri, explor something yang baru bareng-bareng, saling mengkritisi pemikiran atau tindakan masing-masing. Cuma bareng orang-orang terbuka ini, kita kayak terjamin untuk terhindar dari sakitnya dihakimi / dilecehkan. Dan pada akhirnya, menjamin kita bebas dari penyakit ”benci orang lain / benci diri sendiri” karena mengalami perasaan ditolak.

Sunday, March 15, 2009


When you can’t claim someone as yours,
you can still always take a good care of him / her.
Make sure he / she is alright.
At that time,
smile will appear on your face.
And you will recognize the pain you feel inside
is just some ego.
Which is there just to remind you that,
at the end, you’re only a human.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

At Nights When I Can't Shut My Eyes To Sleep...

An eagle who lives on top of the cliff,
knows well the meaning of solitude.

If you think she chooses it, boy how you’ve misunderstood!

On the sky, people look at her as a heartless strength.
What they don’t see, there’s insecurity in her searching.

I’m the only one who knows her better.
I’ve watched her.

More than sometimes, she would move so fast,
together with the wind, her only companion.

Like this afternoon,
a day when all people say a good day,
where none of the clouds are around,
I hear her scream – loud and painful.

She looks up straight to the sun
And move towards it, as fast as if she goes for a hunt.

But this time, I don’t see the perseverance in her eyes.
I see despair.

My heart goes the same speed she’s in.
“Does she choose today to finally throw all of her fences - who she is - what she is - or how she is all this time? Is this how she would admit defeat?”

Should I know now - nothing kills greater
than a confirmation of life failures?

I look above and hope she would look me back.
Buat I only feel a tiny splash of water on my palm.
It’s her tear…

In the end, she doesn’t see that I’ve watched her,
as the sun grabs her and burns her good.

I weep and weep and weep and weep… maybe for eternity.

…cause there’s gone a beauty of solitude sadness…

Has the world a humble mercy…?

She only misses her husband.
She only wants her son.